One day not too long ago, everything went right in mommy-hood-ville.
Gracie ate FOUR great and balanced meals. She had two healthy snack times. We colored. We played outside. We did a craft. We went to the park. We worked on puzzles and shapes. We played "You come and get me then tickle me then let me go" till I was out of breath. She didn't watch any T.V. She had a glorious nap. Great bath. Three story times. She went to sleep sweetly. No melt-downs. No time-outs. I got the laundry done. The house was clean and dinner was made when Daniel got home. I even had my hair done and makeup was on.
I felt like an amazing mom that day. I even said to Daniel "I was a good mom today." He, being amazing, said: "You're a good mom every day."
I know he thinks I am good mom, (which is good!!), but it got me to thinking...
I read a lot of posts about people judging other women for cloth diapering, not cloth diapering, organic vs. gerber, breastfeed or formula, blah blah etc etc.
ALL of these people said "I'm a good mom because..."
What makes a good mom?
Is it cloth diapering? Is it breast feeding? Is it making sure your kid has a lot of healthy meals in the day? Is it going to the park?
Everyone has ideas of what makes them a good mom. We all hope to be the best mom we can, or at least we should hope to be. But we look at other people's ideas of what they think makes a good mom and we instantly think "She isn't a good mom because they are doing this." "She isn't giving her all because she isn't doing this."
BUT WHAT WE ARE REALLY SAYING IS:
"She isn't a good mom because she isn't doing what I AM DOING ."
How heartbreaking to hear that someone thinks you aren't a good mom.
I hope no one has thought that of me, but I am sure that someone has disagreed with my parenting at some point.
This is honestly...guys, it has to stop.
This way of THINKING is so incredibly flawed.
Could you imagine working your hardest and then someone calling you a bad mom? Or criticizing your parenting when you are doing what you think is best? Or because you haven't done certain things that it means you aren't as much of a mom as someone else. Incredibly hurtful. Being a mom is hard enough without someone telling you that you are doing it wrong.
Playing with puzzles doesn't make me a good mom. Going to the park doesn't make me a good mom.
None of the things that moms war about make a good mom.
I can tell you right now what makes me a good mom:
I love Gracie with my entire soul. Every part of me loves her. I tell her every day.
I have a genuine and real care for her well-being and I do my best to take care of her and would never hurt her.
That is it.
Those things make each one of us a good mom.
Notice I didn't say "Because I craft with her every day." "Because we go to mommy and me groups all the time." "Because she can shape sort like a boss."
Grace would be happy if I gave her sweet potato puffs every day for breakfast, lunch & dinner. She wouldn't care if we never worked on puzzles. She wouldn't care if we didn't do anything that we usually do.
But she would care if I never gave her hugs. She would care if I never gave her kisses. She would care if I stopped caring.
When I think about it, I do all of the things I do, not because I think it makes me a good mom, but because I love her and I want her to be happy and I want her to feel that love any way possible.
In the end, I love her and I think that is very noticeable to everyone who has ever met me. That's all that I care about.
I am a good mom and I am not gonna let anyone else tell me otherwise.